I was a person who's willing to do anything for a person she loves. I was a person who's willing to sacrifice the biggest part of her life to be with someone. I was a person who forgot her own freedom because she thinks freedom is in him. I've become a selfless person who forgot to be selfish for herself.
Right now, I finally understand the reason why people leave. I am now slowly learning to fight for the things I really want and to see the vision of God that was fogged by worldly wisdom. But, things are getting harder. The person I want to let go is gripping. Promises are his words but we all know that promises of people are lies. I want to let go because I know these are deceptions and the future is already in blur. And right now, I'm confused. Should I fight for myself and push him away? Should I be selfless again or selfish for my own happiness? Because I became the person who I hated the most -- a person who ignores, rejects and leaves someone. Am I doing it the wrong way? Who am I again?
A part of me thinks I don't deserve to be loved again. I don't think I can love again. There's a part of me that fears love because in my mind, love equates to pain and heartaches. I'm exhausted. I need a break. Love is wonderful but it is also painful and I am not ready to get hurt again. I want to feel loved from people I like but I don't think I can give the love they deserve. To whoever is reading this, I pray that you receive an overflowing love and happiness from your family, friends and God so that you'll know who is the right person for you. Remember that God loves you so much and He hates to see you cry. Aww.
At first, we knew love is giving your 100%. Why? Because you expect it will return 100%. Does it lasts? Yes, but you'll be unhappy.
ReplyDeleteThen you'll wonder is it possible to give 100% love that will last and you'll be happy. That's when God will make you feel his love. The eternal love.