First time to unite with different environment
First time to rest with friends
First time to experience CAMPING
First times are really for babies. What I mean is we're like babies in different and new experiences that we encounter. It is like a crying baby who is fed by her mom and smiles after eating.
I just came back from our camp and I noticed and experienced different first times. It's the first time of the first year class to be in a camp. Of course, they feel uncomfortable. In our first night while I am half asleep, I suddenly heard cryings. I heard from one of my friends that the first year girls are crying because they feel something different that they didn't see. Strange, right? But I think they just scare themselves. Okay, back to the topic. I expect it from the start. Of course this is just their first time as I said earlier. It's also their first time to be in a group of different people. So I expect them to be so quiet that they are not capable of talking to us. We're like a ghost to them really.
It's also my first time to lead a group discussion. This is what I am not used to. I can lead a group but there's a limitation. I can only lead children under my age but not teenagers especially over my age. Every time I share and ask what are their insights, what are the values, etc., etc., I feel that they are thinking "Why do you lead us? You're just a third year high school student.", or "Why are you asking us? You're just my classmate." or even worse than this, like "Leader leaderan ka lang (You're just pretending to be a leader but actually you're not)". This feeling makes me want to walk out in front of them. If this work is not just because of God, I will walk out and pass my work to others. This sharing experience makes me sick but I always think, "God is with you, Micah. He gives you strength. You can do it." This thought of mine makes me stronger. Although I think this camp is not successful as I thought (or maybe WE THOUGHT), I consider this as a wonderful experience that I can never forget. These experiences can improve my skills once I become a facilitator (I am just a student assistant that time) when I finally graduated in high school. I know God has purpose and this purpose can improve all the student assistants, us.
First thing to do to improve this is to listen to our facilitators on how they share their thoughts and how they ask their questions to a group. They have more experiences than us in fact, they do this every year so no doubt that I can learn from them. Lastly, the most important is to pray and ask for God's wisdom. Ate Mayo, our facilitator, said that you can't tell the gospel of God if you don't know the gospel. My experiences is not enough for me to lead a group of people who have more experiences than I do but all I can do is to read the word of God, pray and listen to what God said. I really wanted to be like them. I really wanted to be a facilitator someday. I really wanted to share the word of God with the people who doesn't know about Him. I really wanted to be like Jesus.
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